July/August, 2023  

Career Comparisons, the Road to Discontent

Kay Fittes, August, 2023

“Frequent social comparisons may, in the short-term, provide reassurance.  But in the long-term they may reinforce a need to judge the self against external standards.”  Judith White, Ph.D.

It starts early, the comparison trap.  You are on top one minute and are on the bottom the next.  You are the shortest kid in your class; the tallest; the kid struggling most with math; the player who hasn’t made a basket in any game, on and on and on!  Teenage years come and you KNOW what kind of judgment we place on ourselves.

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Kay’s Consulting Corner

Each month in this section, Kay offers actionable career consulting tips.

Three Steps for Exiting the Comparison Spiral

1. Defining success.  Perhaps you have a vague idea of what success means to you, but is it crystal clear?  Until you get it in writing you have no rules of the game.  Start by answering these questions:  What level of responsibility do YOU seek?  If the thought of leading a team is abhorrent to you, your success may not be linked to becoming a manager.  How many hours will be your sweet spot?  Do your family/personal responsibilities make sixty hours a week not only impossible but objectionable?  If you looked back at the end of your career, what would you state as the most important things you achieved?  Even imagine those words on your gravestone.  What words would be etched into that marker?
   
   
2. Experiencing process.  We are a very result/goal-oriented society.  Probably at every performance review your yearly goals are being scrutinized.  Did you exceed your goals, did you meet your goals, did you fall short of your goals?  It’s hard not to be in comparison mode even with yourself.  Even though your goals are important, the key to a more satisfying and successful career is getting into the process.  Loving, or at the very least, enjoying what you are doing equals a sense of satisfaction at the end of your workday.  Try a quick review at the end of your day and jot down what you enjoyed.  Review again at the end of the week and see if your experience of being successful has been enhanced.
   
   
3. Capitalizing on strengths.  I may sometimes sound like a broken record, but working in your strengths equates to a sense of workplace success.  What are your talents?  If you have never taken the Strengths-Finder assessment, this could be your most important next step.  Do have love coaching staff?  Do you have brilliant and unusual marketing ideas?  Do you love to write?  Start paying attention to the amount of time your workday is using your top five talents.  If you are using your talents and strengths 70% of the time, chances are you are moving toward YOUR definition of workplace success.

If you need guidance in getting to your version of success at work don’t hesitate to reach out!  I might be just the perfect person to partner with to enable you to say, “I love my job!” It’s easy, we can start with a 45-minute complimentary consultation and discuss your needs.  Your first step is to either email me kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call the office at (513) 561-4288.  I will be looking forward to hearing from you.

Client Testimonial – Colleen Clemens

“Kay delivers a fantastic training!  She spent time listening to the current challenges our business was facing to really understand our needs.  It allowed her to develop a custom training that was exactly what we were looking for.  “Creating Teams for Workplace Success” helped our staff align their goals and refocus on the importance of teamwork in the workplace.  Kay is captivating to listen to and has a natural ability to engage the group through challenging but intriguing questions, and sharing her own real-life experiences.  Our staff all enjoyed her workshop and have already asked when she’ll be back!”

Colleen Clemens
Owner
Primrose School of Beavercreek
(937) 429-3800

High-Heeled Success^® supports Dress for Success through donations of clothing, time and money.  We offer complimentary seats at every workshop for women participating in the Dress for Success program.

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Website:  https://www.highheeledsuccess.com

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