September/October, 2024  

Strategies for Coping with Failure

Kay Fittes, October, 2024

Fall is not just about falling leaves.  We are talking about the big falls in a career.  It happens to everyone at some time in your career, you have experienced a failure.  How you manage the situation will depend on your personality but even more importantly on what you learn to do in that situation.  You got fired from your job, you did not get promoted, your proposal was rejected, your presentation bombed, or you received a terrible annual review – you fill in the blank.  I rail against those that say there is no such thing as failure, it is just a word.

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Kay’s Consulting Corner

Each month in this section, Kay offers actionable career consulting tips.

The Failure Recovery Reign-In Plan

The most powerful antidote to fear and failure is action.  You deserve your pity party, but only for a short while.  Below are some action steps that will get you out of your head and into action mode.

1. Isolate Failure:  This can be a risky time for you.  One enormous risk is jumping from “I had a failure” to “I am a failure.”  Reign-In this leap as quickly as you can.  When you take this leap, all the other tools are less effective.  Listen for the words, “I am a failure.” This may not seem like an action-oriented step, but it is.  It is important to do a quick reality check when this happens.  Isolate the failure.  Reframe this situation, this misstep does not have to become your entire identity.
   
   
2. Choose a Role Model:  Reign-In the thinking that you are the only person who has failed.  Choose a role model ASAP!  Who will be your role model during this tough time?  It might be someone you know or even a celebrity.  Who have you seen recover from failure in an extraordinary way?  Simone Biles comes to mind.  Her performance at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics with the ‘twisties’ certainly could be deemed a gymnastics failure, on the world’s biggest stage. The mental work she did to make a comeback at the Paris Olympics is the epitome of growing through failure.
   
   
3. Avoid Comparison:  Reign-In the tendency to compare yourself to others.  Remember, we only have a snapshot of other people.  You may be comparing yourself to a colleague who never fails.  Do not delude yourself, just because you are unaware of a failure does not mean that they are not struggling with one.  Even if they are not dealing with failure, it does not serve you to slip into comparison mode.
   

It is quite easy to succumb to feeling like a failure.  If you have fallen into this abyss, do not struggle alone.  Coaching women during difficult career stages and coping with career failures is one of my specialties.  I can be the grief support, the encourager, and gentle butt-kicker, all rolled into one.  Want to determine if we might be a coaching fit?  Email kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call (513) 561-4288 to schedule a time to talk.

Testimonial – 2024 Summer Sizzler

ABWA Cardinal Crossroads Council

2024 Summer Sizzler Committee

We had the great honor of featuring Kay Fittes of High-Heeled Success® as a keynote speaker at our annual event.  She was asked to provide a motivational presentation to the group of professional women.  Kay absolutely kicked it out of orbit!

Her topic of ‘Kick Your Success Roadblocks to the Curb’ was interactive and engaging.  The attendees were captivated and so responsive.  That says a lot since she was the closing act of the day.

Our committee conducted a survey of the attendees and the comments related to speakers all spoke so positively of Kay.  Her topic, information and presentation seemed to be the highlight of the event.

We are so fortunate to have Kay Fittes as a part of our group and will definitely seek her expertise again in the future.

Renee Clement
Chairperson 2024 Summer Sizzler

High-Heeled Success^® supports Dress for Success through donations of clothing, time and money.  We offer complimentary seats at every workshop for women participating in the Dress for Success program.

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