May/June, 2025  

Paving the Way for Help and Reciprocity in the Workplace

Kay Fittes, June, 2025

Some of you are going to react to this article with: “Well, duh, of course, you need to be kind!”  Please hang in for a bit longer.  Let me be clear, this is not about being nice or good, there is a difference.  High-Heeled Success® rails against women feeling the pressure to be nice all the time in the workplace.  The “Good Girl” albatross is not one you want hanging around your neck.  It is a challenge to escape, and women are consistently nudged and pushed into that behavior.  Instead, I am talking about kindness.  Especially, kindness to people who are in serving roles.

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Kay’s Consulting Corner

Each month in this section, Kay offers actionable career consulting tips.

Paving the Way for Help
in the Workplace

Want your workplace to have a better environment?  Need help occassionally?  Both are great reasons to start developing better relationships at work.  Here are three steps you can take to start that ball rolling.

1. List:  Create a list of all the people you encounter in your workplace that are not directly related to your work, project, or department.  One of the first things you may realize is that you only know their function or what part of the company in which they work.  If you don’t know their name, that’s your second step.  People really appreciate being called by name.  It says they count; they are not invisible; they are SOMEBODY!  I always ask for a first name and use it.
   
   
2. Note:  Keep notes!  You likely have way too much going on every day and too much information in your head already.  What’s their role, what’s their name; what’s their physical description?  This is one of the techniques I have mastered in my full-day training.  In a group of thirty participants, by 10 minutes into the presentation, I usually know everyone’s name.  Do I have memory superpowers?  Heck no!  I greet every person, ask them to wear a name tag, then immediately go to my presentation table where I write their name (plus a phonetic pronunciation) and description.  The description may be clothing color, hair color, glasses, age, race, etc.  Participants often comment that I know everyone’s name.  When I call them by name early, I notice a look of appreciation in their eyes and on their face.  You can do the same thing.  In your notes keep details of each person.  When you start asking them “Getting to know you” questions, record their answers.
   
   
3. Reciprocate:  Reciprocity makes the world go 'round.  Let people in!  Don’t just ask questions about others, eventually you will sound like you are conducting the Inquisition.  Open up!  Let these people know about you, too.  That’s what a relationship is all about.  When I reflect about the kindness of others it warms my heart and truly gives substance to my life.  This reminds me of a beautiful relationship I cultivated during a year of physical therapy.  Early in my recovery from a knee replacement, I met Christopher the valet man at Tri-Health.  What a wonderful person, he went out of his way to take care of me while I went to PT.  I was clearly struggling and his kindness made such a difference.  I found out that his grandmother’s name was also Kay.  He told me all about her and opened up in a touching and vulnerable way.  I believe we profoundly helped each other.  And 'round it goes.
   
   

Are you an introvert, would you rather just do your job and get on with your work?  Relationships not your thing?  I get it but there will be a time when having a fuller circle of people at work will pay off.  Maybe this is just the tip of the iceberg, maybe you are a very skilled engineer, but people skills are challenging for you.  To continue to move up in any organization these soft skills are critical.  Need some help with emotional intelligence?  Let’s set up a complimentary 45-minute telephone consultation to determine if my coaching could benefit you.  Email Kay at kay@highheeledsuccess.com or call (513) 561-4288 to schedule.

Testimonial – Amy Elberfeld

Kay Fittes was the speaker for the Queen City Chapter of the American Business Women’s Association on March 14.  Her topic was “Unleashing Your Power:  7 D’s to Crushing Imposter Syndrome.”  Her presentation was well received by the women in our chapter for a number of reasons.  Kay’s presentation was well organized, it contained information that was valuable and relevant to the women, and she engaged the audience throughout her presentation.

Kay presents herself in a very professional manner, and her presentation style includes empathy and humor. There were lots of questions and comments from the audience that showed Kay’s topic hit home with the women.  Kay is easy to work with, and I plan to invite her to be a speaker for our group again.

I highly recommend Kay Fittes as a speaker.

Amy Elberfeld
President
Queen City Chapter of American Business Women’s Association

High-Heeled Success^® supports Dress for Success through donations of clothing, time and money.  We offer complimentary seats at every workshop for women participating in the Dress for Success program.

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